"Boss? I can’t come in to work today. Yeah, I’ve got The Fat, and I don’t want everyone to catch it…."

What? Isn’t that the next logical step from the news that <a href=”http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/25/AR2007072501353.html?nav=rss_email/components
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/25/AR2007072501353.html?nav=rss_email/components”>OMG fat is contagious!!!?

I have, for the record, worked at the same job for over 11 years, and of the people who have also worked here for those 11 years, none of them have caught The Fat from me. A couple actually have lost weight, to what they say is their “true weight,” and since they haven’t gained it back, either that IS their natural weight, or they’ve been exercising/starving very, VERY hard for the past few years.

My boyfriend is a lean guy, with a 30-inch waist and corresponding lean measurements all over. We’ve been together for over a year, and he hasn’t caught The Fat from me, despite the fact that he eats enough ice cream to ensure that neither Ben nor Jerry will ever have to worry about going broke.

To echo what the eminently wise Kate Harding says here, my not-fat friends from high school are still not fat. My not-fat friends from college are still not fat. My not-fat co-workers and assorted friends have stayed not-fat despite knowing me, sharing meals with me, and breathing my fat air.

My fat co-workers and assorted friends were already fat when I met them and still are, for the most part, fat. This is despite many Weight Watchers cycles, low-carb evangelism, and the Spinning craze. I’m pretty damned sure that their fat has NOTHING to do with me.

Unless….I helped “make” (keep) them fat by having the attitude that it’s OKAY to be whatever size your body naturally wants to be, even if that’s what society calls “fat.” Because it IS okay. And I want people to know I believe that.

If THAT’S contagious, well, then, call me Typhoid Teppy.

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